The Constant Chameleon

Me-The Chameleon

I finally know who I am.

It has been a year of introspection and self discovery. That is saying a lot for someone such as me that has spent her entire life looking deep within her own heart seeking to understand.

There are aspects of my personality that I like. There are many more that I do not. I am my own harshest critic. This is how it should be.

One of the aspects of my personality that I did not like is that I have always seemed significantly fickle. I love one thing one day just to find that I strongly dislike it on the next day. I hated that about myself…before I understood it.

When I find something I like, I have a tendency to go somewhat overboard and head long into it. That is when I am on the highest peak of Mount Ardor. Then as a result of being at the highest point of my passion, I seek to discover more and more and more about this subject or topic of my affection. But lo, the worm turns. Often, the more information I scratch out, the more I learn that this thing is not worthy of my affection or even my attention. This is an enlightening. This is a reckoning. Rather than throw in the towel on this discovery, I often choose to delve even deeper just to see what else shakes out. Sometimes the findings are brutally ugly. This is when my passion descends into hatred. At other times, I get past the ugliness just to learn enough that deems this thing worthy of redemption.

So you see I am not fickle at all. I am just a work in progress wanting to score up all of the facts.

I am a chameleon. I so wanted to be feline but lizards are cool too.

This is not the only thing I have learned this year. I have been busy. Perhaps, I will share more of my findings at a later time. Perhaps not. But stay tuned anyway.