A No Zag Life

Time passes. The days are falling like rain drops. I do not grieve for them. Instead, I think of tomorrow. The bright new tomorrow that will sprout like a tender leaf. Right now it is buried deep in the earth like a dream waiting. My dream waiting to be had. I do not know how many tomorrows I have. I know I have less than when I started.

I am a pensive person. I spend so much time in thought and the older I get the more time I spend inside my own mind. I suppose I must like it there, right? People do not do what they do not want to do. That is human nature. I have always said that people pretty much get what they want. A person will find a way to bring to themselves those things they want. Sometimes they do it consciously sometimes subconsiously but they almost always find a way. Trouble arises when a person does not know what they want. That makes life in a pinball machine, bouncing off the sides, tilting, falling, landing back where you began.

I think back on my life and wonder where did I zig when I should have zagged? I really cannot point to a place. I didn't zig when I should have zagged. Instead, I did not know what to dream. You might say I didn't even know how to zig or zag.  How do you know you want a thing that you do not even know exists? That is the quirk of life. When you are very young, you are too inexperienced, ignorant, and naive to even know what to want. Like I said, my dream still waits in the deep earth waiting to be had. If I never reach it, someone will. That is good enough for me. At this late date, no ordinary dream will do for me. I need something completely off the rails. Until then, I have hungry cats here waiting to be fed.

She is thinking about zigging but she should zag.