The Old Year is Gone Along with some Naivity

Saturday, December 31, 2011, I begin an early day. I take pictures so I will remember next year what kind of day it was. Do you often find yourself trying to remember the weather and the details of the last day of the year for the year before? Well, here it is for my memory book so to speak.

I am almost to my church where I will be setting up the alter for the next day's communion.

No surprise here. Due to the holidays, I am the only person within sight of anywhere. I like having the church all to myself. It looks small but it actually is quite large. In the picture is just the church and not the outlying connecting buildings.

Just inside the side door.

Heading to alter guild work room.

In the sacristy, getting ready to begin.

You must begin by getting your mind in the right place to begin your service. We take this very seriously. It is the Lord's table and we treat it as such.

I just want to look at this creche. It is beautiful. I should have put my hand beside it so the size of it could be made evident.

Advent candles in front of pulpit.

Beautiful magnolia wreaths.

I begin refilling the candles. There are many.

Taking time to admire this window. The dyes necessary to make this window are no longer mixed. Replacement pieces from Europe will never match again. These windows all tell stories and most every depiction in a window be it a ribbon, pearls, colors, vegetation, robes, whatever is an artistic symbol. You can study these windows for hours. They are amazing.

Refilling a candle and adjusting the wicks.

Refilling a communion candle and polishing the brass.

Obtaining the necessary, corporal, veil, towels, wafers, etc.

Beginning to dress the chalice.

Partially dressed chalice and priest's host.

Fully veiled chalice and host.

Preparing to pour the rabbinical wine.

Complete credence table with wine, ceborium, chalices and wafers.

Yesterday, New Year's Day, my mom shared an interesting and heart breaking story with me regarding the death of her father. She has shared many memories of her childhood with me through out our lives but this one was most poignant for me this time.  It was then that I realized, for one thing, that my desire to remove pain does not just only apply to cats. I hated to admit that my bleeding heart does not always bleed across to the human species. Sad, huh? That is not because I am a mean person. I am nice...sometimes. I mean I can be decent if  the sun and stars align just right. Mostly, I just figure humans are more capable of fixing their own problems and do not need my commiserations and assistance. Also, no one would ever look at my own life and say "Oh, yeah, I want her to give me advice because she has everything going on so perfectly!" Therefore, I focus on the innocent and helpless creatures. Yesterday was sort of what you would call a watershed moment for me. It was a realization. There is one area in which I would love to help all of us and that is dealing with sorrow. Sorrow is hard. It is heart wrenching. It is unfixable for some people. They will be broken all of their lives. A forever broken person living in a forever broken world. Wouldn't you love to 'fix' someone's heart? Especially someone you love so much like your mother? Wouldn't you love to take that pain away so that it never hurt again for them? If you could only do it for one person, even that would be so magnificent. My mother told me that she still remembers just as clearly as if it happened moments ago, her mother awakening her the morning of January 2, 1933 and telling her that her father had passed away in the night. She was 5 years old. My mom cried yesterday just like it happened only moments earlier. There are no words you can say to someone hurting that much and none you should say. My mom often tells me that I was born with a much greater faith than she has. I am not so certain about that. I thought about the words in the Bible about Heaven. We do not know much but we do know in Heaven that there are no father, brother, sister, mother or husband, wife. Jesus told us that. So I could hardly say to mom "oh, you will see your father again." She may but will she recognize him? Maybe not. I often think of the words that are not in the Bible. Just because it is not in there, does not mean He never said it. It only means that it was not recorded. He may have said exactly what happens, when and how. I don't know and no one else does but I do know this. He will make it all good. So you meet a being in Heaven and it was your earthly father yet you never know it. Will it matter? No. There will only be love and it will all be good. My understanding and knowledge is so small yet this much I know is true.