Home is Where The Heart Is

Just when I was about to wig out because of the hot weather, it rained again! I had just about reached my limit yesterday. At one point, honestly, the thought did occur to me to drive until I reached cooler weather. That is when I began to dream. Dream of the day when I can at least have a summer home away from home and at most completely relocate to a more moderate climate. I will not be sad to say good bye. I look forward to the adventure of a new location. It is a very comforting and soothing dream that I revel in when sweat is running down my face and soaking through my freshly ironed blouse. I do not feel at home here. I never have. Is it possible to be born in a place and never feel at home there? I answer, yes. This line of thinking came about this way. See, a few years ago, I really analyzed it as I began to get older and began making plans regarding my final wishes. I thought to myself  what should I tell whomever is left to deal with my business how to handle my final resting place? This is a morbid thought, right? But still, at some point, each of us has to face it and plan for it. Morbid yet necessary. There is no doubt; no doubt, that I wish to be cremated. But then what? Should I have my ashes strewn? Should I be placed in a columbarium? All I knew for certain is that I did not wish to be here. It is an odd thing to say but at some point, I feel something went drastically awry and I never found my way to my geographical destiny. Yet, hopefully, there is still time. Maybe nothing went awry. Maybe it is only a delayed providence. This is my hope. I hope I live to be 100 that I live the second half of my life in a cool, temperate climate. What a dream!! I see myself trekking through a densely wooded, moss covered forest. I see cool rain dripping from my face rather than sweat. I see mist rising from the dense foliage rather than dust from the dry, dusty leaves of summer. I see myself sleeping with the windows thrown wide with a soft, cold breeze cooling down my searing soul. I see myself finally being home.